10 BEST JOKES ABOUT DOCTORS

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10 BEST JOKES ABOUT DOCTORS

Let us say that even in the ER corridors we can have a rib cracking moment. Here are some funny situations straight out of the medical life:

  1. A young lady went to her physician whining of pain. "You have to save me," she yelled. "It hurts all over,”

"What do you mean, all over?" asked the doctor, "try to be a little more specific."

The lady pressed her right ankle with her index finger and yelled, "Ow that hurts." Then she touched her left knee and dramatically yelled again, "Jesus! That hurts too." Then she touched her right earlobe, "Oh my I think this one will even fall off," she sank, bursting into sobs.

The doctor just looked at her skillfully and read out the diagnosis: "You have a broken finger."


2 Doctor: Nurse, how is that little boy doing?

Nurse: Which one?

Doctor: The one who swallowed ten dirhams in the morning?

Nurse: Sir, No change yet.

 

3.Doctor: Did you know that there are more than 200 fleshy bones in the human body?

      Lisa: Hush Hush, doctor! There are two bulldogs outside in the waiting room!

 

  1. Tony: My daughter beats me, doctor.

Doctor: Oh my, the tiny girl? How often?

Tony: Every time we play Scrabble!

 

  1. "Doctor, please hurry. My baby swallowed all the beans, uncooked!"
    "Don't panic, I'm coming immediately. Have you done anything yet?"

"Yes, I ate the peas."

*

 

  1. A man speaks frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only three minutes apart!"
    "Is this her first child?" the doctor queries.
    "No, you idiot!" the man yells. "This is her husband!"

 

  1. A woman goes to her physician for a complete body checkup. She has been unwell and wants to figure out the diagnosis. After the checkup, the doctor comes out with the examination results putting on a rather queer face.

"I'm afraid I have some bad news. You're dying and you don't have that much time," the doctor says.

"Oh no, that's just horrible. How long do I have?" the woman asks.

"10..." says the doctor.

"10? 10 what? Months? Weeks? What?!" she asks desperately.

"10...9...8...7..."

 

  1. "Doctor, are you sure I'm suffering from asthma? I've heard cases about a doctor treating someone with asthma and finally, he died of pneumonia."
    "Don't bother a lot, it can never happen to me. If I treat someone with asthma he will die of asthma."

 

  1. Tomy walks into class, with both of his ears all bandaged up.

The Teacher astonished, asks “What happened to your ears?"
He says, "Yesterday I was ironing my pants when my cell rang and sshhh! I accidentally answered the iron."
The Teacher says, "Well, that explains one ear, but what happened to your other ear?"
He says, "Oh my, I had to call the doctor!"

 

  1. My 7-year-old son had a terrible case of the common cold, he was achy, had a terrible fever, and nagging. After waiting in the reception room at the doctor’s office for over almost an hour, it was finally our turn to see the Doctor. After the usual checkup procedure; listening to her breathing and checking his ears, the Doctor looked my son and asked, “so what would you say is bothering you the most?" Without skipping a beat my daughter promptly answered, “Mary!!She always hides my toys!"

 


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