Choice of life:
Human life is full of choices. To earn or to learn. To be or not to be. Yes or no. Truth or lies. And, then a few choices that matter. To love or to hate. To be hanged as a hero or to die a coward's death. To fight on or to give up. To live or die. That's an important choice. And, it's not always in our hands. I'll say it again, to love or to hate. To earn bags full of money or to learn as many things as you can. To be or not to be. To be a hero or a coward. To live or to die. That's an important choice. And, it's not always in our hands.
The reality of life:
It's a habitual belief that positive thinking gives us a happier healthier life. As children, our parents taught us to smile, be cheerful and put on a happy face come what may. As adults, our parents taught us to look on the bright side, to make lemonade out of lemons, and trust glasses as half full! But, sometimes reality can get in the way and act the happy part. Your health can fail, your patients can die, friends can disappoint, your loved ones can cheat. It's in these breath-taking moments when you just want to get real, drop the act your parents taught you, and be your true scared unhappy self-dying to grieve over a trivial issue as that of death!
5 stages of grief:
Doctors wear a shield of apathy, are the walking pillars of emotionless mechanics, but aren't allowed to feel grief, sadness, remorse, sympathy or guilt over the death of their patients. When we are dying or have suffered a catastrophic loss, we go through five stages of grief, namely denial, anger, bargain, despair, and acceptance. We tend to feel denial because we don't accept the loss and consider it false. Then anger where we tend to become angry with everyone, with survivors, with ourselves too. And, then we tend to get into the bargaining scenario where we beg, we plead and offer everything we have for just one more happy day. Then, when the bargaining tactic fails and we are in no position to get angry, we enter the zone of despair, and despair lasts till we finally have to accept that we've done everything we could to save the patient, now we need to let go and call it acceptance.
There's a thing doctors say once a patient passes away. They say to the patient's family. They say, "I'm sorry for your loss". It lets them empathize with the family without feeling their loss. It protects them from feeling an equivalent relentless pain. It guards their facet of the story. All they want to offer is support, a little bit of peace, a little bit of closure. Something good amidst everything bad. An unexpected gift, just when it's required most.
Doctors are such creatures who aren't afraid of death, they just hope their patient goes through a painless process of death. Every single day, they face death in the eye. Death is a battleground for them, and their job is to save as many patients as they can.