A Few Medical Jokes for You to Enjoy
Feb 2019

Maywhite Media


A Few Medical Jokes for You to Enjoy

  1. A concerned mother complaining the consultant about the weird eating habits of her daughter. 
    Mother: “She stays lies in her bed throughout the day eating yeast and car wax. What will be the effects of her bad eating habits?” 
    “Ultimately, she will start growing and shining.
  2. An advertisement board’s sign on a cosmetic surgery clinic says. “If your life is giving you lemon then a simple medical operation can give you melons.”Medical Social Advice
  3. Tips for healthy living 
    Patient: “Dr, does an apple a day really keeps the doctor away? 
    Yes, Only if you aim .high to keep it well enough”.
  4. Examination of the patient by a doctor 
    Dr: I got it that we the medical specialist will have. to remove one of your body’s lungs.” 
    Patients with astonishment: “But Dr, my lungs have always performed very well, and I have never faced any problem”. 
    Dr: “I have seen it myself that there is not enough room in your liver now.”

  5. A doctor explaining radiation signs to the patient. 
    Patient: “Dr, what will happen after radiation?” 
    Dr: “The patient will lose hair, and his/her skin will turn red and eventually the grave will bleak.”Medical Jock

  6. Doctor examining eyesight 
    Dr: “What is your eyesight boy?”
    Patient: “Its 5” 
    Dr: “That must be extremely cold.”

  7. Dentist pulling out the patient’s tooth 
    Dentist: “Don’t worry Miss, it will only take minor minutes for pulling out your tooth from your mouth.” 
    Patient: “and what is the cost of your services?” 
    Dr: “It's only 100$”. 
    Patient: If you say then I can keep pulling it for one entire hour”.

  8. Psychiatrists engaged in discussion with a patients’ relative 
    Psychiatrist: “Do you drink alcohol and smoke? 
    Patient: “no”. 
    Psychiatrist: “Do you use drugs, play cards or chase other women?
    Patient: “no.”
    Psychiatrist: “then what is the reason that you have come here”? 
    Patient: “I have a small issue that I lie with everyone.”
  9. Doctor addressing the patients’ wife 
    Doctor: “Madam, we have to start the treatment so kindly prepare your husband for the challenging time”. 
    Patient’s wife: “Of God, what will happen, doctor, will he die?”
    Doctor: “no, he will not be permitted to drink any kind of alcohol.”
  10. Patient discussing his serious problem with an Ear specialist 
    Dr: “What kind of problems are your ears and nose are facing?”
    Patient: There is a serious problem I am facing these days.” 
    Dr: “do they hurt a lot?” 
    Patient: “no doctor, they start impeding when I try to put on my T-shirt.”
  11. Doctor talking about his grief with her a patient 
    Doctor: “Sir, we have lost our precious patient after this operation”. 
    Relative of the patient: “What happened with my cousin doctor?” 
    Doctor: “He has recovered now.”
  12. Doctor informing two kinds of news to a patient 
    Doctor: “I want to share first bad and second worse news to you”. 
    Patient: “What is going to happen with me, doctor?” 
    Doctor: “The evidence of medical laboratory says that you can only live for 24 hours”.
    Doctor: “Oh, my God doctor, what will I do now? Please, tell me the second news”. 
    Patient: “What is going to happen with me, doctor?”
    Doctor: “The worse news is that I have tried a lot to tell you about this news 24 hours before but your phone was out of reach”.

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